The range and quality of foods have been improved with the development of technology and scientific advance. Some people think it is a good development while others consider it harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In today's contemporary world,
due to
the advancements in technology
foods
have been developed in terms of their quality and a wide range. It is asserted by some
individuals
this
improvement has detrimental and dangerous impacts, others, including me hold the view that there are several benefits of
this
phenomenon in our lives. In
this
essay, both these opinions will be discussed before drawing a conclusion. On the one hand, for the proponents of the former idea, fresh and natural
foods
are more beneficial than others. To elaborate, technology in
food
production paves the way for excessive usage of chemical substances, which can be harmful to
people
's health.
For instance
, today more and more
individuals
die at an early age because of eating low-quality products.
In contrast
, in the past
people
were living until the age of 100,
however
,
this
rate has been decreasing
due to
harmful
food
ingredients.
As a result
, it creates a phobia among
people
that the overuse of scientific advancements has consequences for their health and life expectancy.
On the other hand
, the majority of
individuals
believe that
this
trend is a good development. They think that for getting wider types of
foods
technology can be a contributing factor.
It is clear that
compared to the past,
people
have access to any type of
food
, ranging from fast
food
to a variety of fruits and vegetables.
Furthermore
, all can learn which
foods
are useless or beneficial for their health.
For example
, in daily health-related TV programmes special experts recommend which
food
is more crucial and high-quality for eating or how they can strike a balance of the disorders in
food
consumption.
To sum up
,
although
some
individuals
tend to ignore the useful sides of technological advancements in
food
production, the majority of
individuals
believe that it is a good development and should be applied to
this
field widely in the future.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task achievement
For a higher score, ensure to provide more specific examples to solidify your arguments. While your essay covers the topic comprehensively, integrating detailed examples can enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Maintain the use of clear and logical transitions between paragraphs to preserve the strong flow of ideas. Your essay demonstrates a good structure, but you could improve by ensuring smoother transitions between your points for enhanced readability.
task achievement
You've done well in presenting a balanced argument, discussing both views thoroughly before giving your own opinion, which meets the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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