More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a fact that there is an increasing number of animal species that are about to go extinct these days.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the causes of
this
Linking Words
problem and propose some ways to mitigate the issues.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
of the significant reasons why animals go extinct is because people hunt illegally. The reason why humans kill in places where illegal to hunt is that they believe in myths.
One
Use synonyms
common myth is that some
wild-animal
Correct your spelling
wild animal
show examples
organ can magically heal
one
Use synonyms
's deadly disease.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Mongolia, some believe that if they eat a mazaalai's liver, their liver cancer will be gone, which is false.
As a result
Linking Words
, mazaalai bears are killed and on the verge of extinction.
One
Use synonyms
solution to
this
Linking Words
problem is to educate citizens by broadcasting information on television.
Then
Linking Words
, a well-educated citizen will not believe in gossip and hunt illegally.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the other major issue is the modification of animals' natural habitats
due to
Linking Words
climate change. With the developing infrastructure of humanity, industrial areas emit a significant amount of toxic gas into the atmosphere, resulting in global warming. Since wild creatures can not cope with dramatic changes in their habitat, they die out quickly.
For example
Linking Words
, penguins are on the endangered list because Antarctica's ice is melting rapidly. An indirect approach to
this
Linking Words
issue is to increase renewable energy resources. Climate change can be stopped if people produce energy through environment-friendly ways
such
Linking Words
as nuclear fission
instead
Linking Words
of toxic coal burning.
To sum up
Linking Words
, wild creatures are about to go extinct because of illegal hunting and the difference in their habitat.
However
Linking Words
, educating citizens and use of renewable energy can mitigate
this
Linking Words
problem.
Submitted by emeralds0214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and the main points are well-supported.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more focused and impactful.
task achievement
The response addresses the task requirements and provides clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: