IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior? What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #schools #student #behavior
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Pupils are always an essential resource for society. Educational institutions are facing many difficulties in the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 way of
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
show examples
. There are a plethora of reasons for
this
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 as social habits, parent carelessness and
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 developments.
However
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, these concerns are effectively resolvable by the government, parents advising their
children
Use synonyms
 and providing customized mobile for their education purpose.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
students
Use synonyms
 are interacting with many people to enhance their social habits. There are few
students
Use synonyms
follow
Correct pronoun usage
who follow
show examples
 the basic ethics of life and others consider only unethical
activities
Use synonyms
. They get used to it as well as it reflects the same attitude at
school
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.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin has a miserable friendship during his
school
Use synonyms
 life. The government must take responsibility and initiate the program sessions for
students
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 on social behavioural
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will help the
students
Use synonyms
 in decision making on teaming with people.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the interactions between parents and
children
Use synonyms
 are frequently dropped in recent days. Speaking with their
children
Use synonyms
 will enhance their daily life routines and makes them realise the importance of education and behavioural
activities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin's brother is work in one of the leading multinational companies as a product manager and my father guided him from his childhood to achieve his goal.
Finally
Linking Words
, technology impacts
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour widely.
Children
Use synonyms
 are addicted to social media and try to copy all content. It makes them act the same as their social personality. To conclude,
students
Use synonyms
 are important for tomorrow’s society.
School
Use synonyms
 behavioural
activities
Use synonyms
 should be monitored by the government, parents of the
children
Use synonyms
 communicate a lot with their
children
Use synonyms
 and dedicate a mobile phone which is customized to their studies.
Submitted by Arunsap05 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental guidance
  • discipline
  • moral guidance
  • social media
  • detrimental
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • overcrowded
  • disengagement
  • disruptive behavior
  • behavioral policies
  • code of conduct
  • parental involvement
  • social and emotional learning (SEL)
  • empathy
  • responsible decisions
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