The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's sophisticated world,
science
plays a crucial role for every individual, aiding in the improvement of people's lives. From my perspective, this
trend is fully endorsed, given the increasing number of agricultural and medical benefits it brings. However
, emerging issues cast shadows over this
prospect, which I will discuss below, along with
my views.
To start, in modern times, the benefits of agriculture are increasing thanks to advancements in science
. In the past, farmers encountered difficulties due to
the harmful effects of pesticides on crops. However
, nowadays, scientists have developed crops resistant to pesticides. For instance
, in Sri Lanka, over the years, the economic value of agriculture has been on the rise, covering millions of hectares. Overall
, the livelihoods of farmers have been improving significantly due to
advancements in science
.
Additionally
, in the field of medicine, scientists have discovered numerous antibiotics in the last
50 years, leading to a significant reduction in the global death rate. Moreover
, the range of surgical procedures and treatments has expanded in developing countries, including X-rays, heart transplants, optical surgery, and liver transplants. For instance
, in 2021, the worldwide population was severely affected by the coronavirus. Subsequently
, scientists developed a vaccine for the virus, resulting in a decrease in the death rate. Overall
, advancements in science
have facilitated the construction of new medical facilities and contributed to improvements in healthcare.
To conclude
, despite the drawbacks, the benefits of science
far outweigh the drawbacks by a significant margin. I believe that the advancement of technology is solely focused on enhancing people's lives and driving progress forward.Submitted by krishmahendran19 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. While the essay does demonstrate this quality, it is essential to maintain a strong connection between your main ideas and the examples provided. This can be achieved by adding clear topic sentences and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job of framing your essay. To improve, you could offer a more detailed summary of your argument in the conclusion, reinforcing your point of view.
coherence cohesion
Continue providing support for your main points with examples and evidence, as this strengthens your arguments. To further enhance this aspect, make sure your examples are detailed and directly connected to the main points. For higher marks, consider a greater variety of examples and ensure they are all fully developed and relevant.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, but you can improve by developing your ideas more fully. Make sure each paragraph contributes to a clear argument in response to the question and avoid divergence from the main topic. Fully explore the implications of each point you make.
task achievement
The clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas are on the right track. Ensure each idea is explained thoroughly and relates clearly to the essay question. Avoid general statements and strive to be more specific in your discussion.
task achievement
While you've provided examples to back up your claims, strive to include more specific and diverse examples to improve the persuasiveness of your essay. Moreover, ensure that the examples are not only relevant but also accurate and taken from reliable sources.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.