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Writing Samples
Band 7

Unemployment is one of the most serious problem facing developed nations today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reducing the working week to thirty-five hours?

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Over the course of the
last
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 decades, unemployment has become a pressing issue in many developed countries, leading policymakers to explore innovative solutions
such
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 as reducing the standard working week to 35 hours.
While
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this
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 idea offers some notable advantages, it
also
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 presents several economic and functional drawbacks. Admittedly, shortening the working week offers various benefits.
Initially
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, it potentially provides numerous job opportunities. In order to maintain productivity, companies may be encouraged to hire additional staff, thereby mitigating unemployment.
For instance
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, the UK government managed to considerably decrease the joblessness rate, by applying
this
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 law in 2019. Another overt advantage of
this
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 strategy is enhancing the work-life balance of employees. As people have more free time, they can pursue their personal interests,
as well as
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 spend quality time with family and friends.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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 significant downsides to
this
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 approach. First and foremost, limiting working weeks can increase labour costs, especially if wages remain unchanged.
In other words
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, companies face additional expenses to recruit and train more personnel, which may be a heavy burden on small and medium-sized enterprises.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trend could decrease a firm’s efficiency. Since
,
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apply
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 people are less focused on their jobs, many fail to fulfil their responsibilities. Cambridge University found in a recent study that part-time workers are less productive than their full-time counterparts. In summary, reducing the working week to thirty-five hours, not only can play a significant role in addressing unemployment in developed nations
,
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 but
also
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 can improve workers’ quality of life.
However
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, the economic impacts on businesses and the reduction of productivity should be carefully considered.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more detailed explanation of how reducing the working week specifically addresses unemployment. You mentioned 'numerous job opportunities'; providing a clearer link between fewer working hours and job creation would strengthen your response.
Task Achievement
In the section discussing disadvantages, the point about productivity could be strengthened by more specific examples or data. This would enhance the credibility of your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your topic sentences clearly align with the main ideas of each paragraph. This helps the reader to follow your argument more easily and reinforces the overall structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider introducing linking words or phrases for a smoother transition between ideas, especially when moving from one argument to another. This will improve the flow of your essay and enhance coherence.
Content
Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and presents both sides of the argument, setting a clear stage for the discussion.
Language
The variety of vocabulary and the complex sentence structures used in your essay demonstrate a good level of language proficiency.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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