It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #risks #lives #thier #trend

It’s considered by some people that taking risks is essential in individual and professional lives. In my opinion, I think taking it will gain experience and new adventures, and these advantages have overdrawn the disadvantages like losing cash or time.

Firstly

, taking risks will help to have new knowledge. If someone is involved in a new business or

decided

Wrong verb form

decides

show examples

to invest in a project he will learn

either

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

is it good or bad to do

this

kind of project.

For example

, once I started to sell cakes for supermarkets, I realized that the people of the area prefer candy to cakes. It was a good try for me and I learned to study the market first. So, it's better to try and lose rather than be afraid with no knowledge. the second reason is it gives the person a chance to experience new adventures,

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

getting know to new places by travelling.

For instance

, visiting new countries will introduce people to different cultures and civilizations which can't be known by being afraid of travelling or fears of dealing with other nationalities. and

this

would never count as a loss at all.

On the other hand

, both being involved in new business or adventures will cost, especially if it needs a large amount of money or

needs

Verb problem

apply

show examples

valuable time. To illustrate, if someone has an idea to travel for business by money-saving it for university fees and before exams, definitely it would be lost if he couldn't succeed.

To conclude

, risks are important to gain experience and the joy of discovering new places,

However

, it might cost valuable money and time. But I think in most cases the former ones are worth risking the latter.

Submitted by Fatima Sami on Thu Aug 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a good framework for the essay. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the body paragraphs more coherently. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and transitions smoothly to the next.

Task Achievement

The response provides a clear discussion of the topic, but could be more comprehensive in addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in personal and professional lives. Try to explore the drawbacks of taking risks and provide a balanced view in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.
It is true that family background always plays a crucial role in one's behaviour. Nowadays, seeking a family background seems to be an intellectual conflict in certain parts of the globe. While defenders argue that there are a number of beneficial outcomes in this notion, opponents express that it is futile. In my point of view, both ideologies are worth supporting. This essay delves into these statements and expresses my outlook before drawing a reasonable conclusion.
5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s educational landscape, the integration of free social activities into high school programs is a topic of considerable debate. Proponents argue that such activities should be mandatory, emphasizing the myriad benefits they offer to students’ development and future prospects. Despite potential challenges, including time management issues, the long-term advantages for students’ personal and professional growth are undeniable.
6.5
band
At the present time, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is older people. There are even people who observe that the number of elders in societies is much more than past. In the succeeding, this situation whether the benefits over the disadvantages are to be discussed along with the writer's view on the matter.
7.5
band
In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?
The population with mental worries is increasing worldwide. The reasons could be tensions from the workplace as well as mental worries . These issues may be managed by creating a better working discipline and practising exercises to calm down the mind and body
4.5
band
Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
It is widely believed that globalisation and the increasing number of multinational companies have resulted in worse environment condition. I strongly agree with this opinion because they have contributed greatly to the increasing temperature of Earth and habitat loss in the recent times.

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.