It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

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It’s considered by some people that taking risks is essential in individual and professional lives. In my opinion, I think taking it will gain experience and new adventures, and these advantages have overdrawn the disadvantages like losing cash or time.

Firstly

Linking Words

, taking risks will help to have new knowledge. If someone is involved in a new business or

decided

Wrong verb form

decides

show examples

to invest in a project he will learn

either

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

is it good or bad to do

this

Linking Words

kind of project.

For example

Linking Words

, once I started to sell cakes for supermarkets, I realized that the people of the area prefer candy to cakes. It was a good try for me and I learned to study the market first. So, it's better to try and lose rather than be afraid with no knowledge. the second reason is it gives the person a chance to experience new adventures,

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

getting know to new places by travelling.

For instance

Linking Words

, visiting new countries will introduce people to different cultures and civilizations which can't be known by being afraid of travelling or fears of dealing with other nationalities. and

this

Linking Words

would never count as a loss at all.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, both being involved in new business or adventures will cost, especially if it needs a large amount of money or

needs

Verb problem

apply

show examples

valuable time. To illustrate, if someone has an idea to travel for business by money-saving it for university fees and before exams, definitely it would be lost if he couldn't succeed.

To conclude

Linking Words

, risks are important to gain experience and the joy of discovering new places,

However

Linking Words

, it might cost valuable money and time. But I think in most cases the former ones are worth risking the latter.

Submitted by Fatima Sami on Thu Aug 11 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a good framework for the essay. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the body paragraphs more coherently. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and transitions smoothly to the next.

Task Achievement

The response provides a clear discussion of the topic, but could be more comprehensive in addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in personal and professional lives. Try to explore the drawbacks of taking risks and provide a balanced view in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?