some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents. Some others believe that less controlling will help children deal with adults’ life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

For sure, parents play a vital role in the growth of their children. For that, sometimes they stick to rules to ensure their safety.
certain
Capitalize word
Certain
show examples
individuals are of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
that children must fulfil and listen to their parents ,
while
some argue that they should rather be less controlled to help the kids to do better in adults’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will shed light on both views and state my position.
To begin
with, I will enlighten the benefits, a kid can attain by following the ground rules made by Father and Mother. First and foremost, elders have exposure to the world daily , they are well aware of numerous ways how to deal with some difficulties.
For instance
, if a boy wants to go out with his friends at night, his parents are well of the consequences of playing outside at that particular time.
Subsequently
, they will set a daily routine to reach home before it gets dark outside.
Secondly
, being immature at
such
a
lower
Correct word choice
young
show examples
age , kids are not aware of their well-being they can opt for the wrong activities ,which can even harm them permanently.
However
, it often appears that strictness can lower the decision-making and thinking ability of a
lower
Correct word choice
younger
show examples
age.
For example
, if a child does only what he has been asked to do can lower his strength of wisdom and creativity. Which may hurt him or her in upcoming adult life where a person will only be held responsible for every taken step.
Hence
, for the well-being of offspring, the rules should be kept within limits. In conclusion,
although
implementing laws upon the under lower aged persons has numerous advantages
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can harm the individual’s abilities , so in
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
, there should be only limited restrictions on the doings of children and their choices should
also
be taken into account.
Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant to the arguments you are making. Provide specific instances that support your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas to create a more cohesive and coherent structure. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and create a smoother flow.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adhering
  • pivotal
  • instilling
  • discipline
  • fosters
  • stability
  • opposing
  • independence
  • critical thinking
  • real-life situations
  • strict parental oversight
  • make decisions
  • autonomy
  • challenges
  • resilience
  • self-reliance
  • stifle
  • personal growth
  • creativity
  • middle ground
  • individuality
  • guidelines
  • authority
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!