Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is a very controversial question, I
believed
that the same punishments should be imposed equally on juvenile delinquency and adult Wrong verb form
believe
misdeed
. Children are responsible for their actions. Yet, Fix the agreement mistake
misdeeds
according to
the seriousness of their felony, immature
must Replace the word
immaturity
punish
the same way as adults or not.
On the one hand, in my mind, in the case of theft, robbery, and fighting, I agree that Wrong verb form
be punished
the
youngsters must be punished in lenient ways. The reason is that they are too young and maybe not fully aware of what they have done. So, in Correct article usage
apply
this
situation, sending them in
Change preposition
to
the
prison is not the solution and it is unfair treatment towards them. In my opinion, the authorities must punish them by giving them community service, because youngsters are the backbone of any society. I just remembered one case Correct article usage
apply
of
India, there were four teenagers Change preposition
in
done
robbery and later on coughed by Verb problem
who committed
police
, they were sent Correct article usage
the police
them
to prison after when they came out from there, they Correct pronoun usage
apply
commit
murder which is the biggest crime in the whole world, the government can prevent crime if they want Wrong verb form
committed
for example
in these kinds of infraction juvenile must send in NGO, not in prison because they need the correct their mistakes and become a responsible person in the future lives.
On the other hand
, in such
a charge of murder, I strongly believe that they must be penalized in the same way as a juvenile killer. If the administration wants, they can stop Youngs to deterred to
reoffending. Change preposition
from
For example
, in Vietnam, their teens still received harsh penalties due to
their inhuman nature. The way they killed the whole family.
In conclusion, I reckon, that young people must not be treated like adolescence
, they must be punished for their felony and cruelty, and their reprimand must depend on act seriousness.Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
Submitted by ahtesham on
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task response
Task Response: The response only partially addresses the prompt, lacking a clear and comprehensive exploration of the given topic. The arguments presented lack depth and fail to showcase a thorough understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat clear, with some attempt at creating a coherent flow of ideas. However, the essay lacks a strong introduction and conclusion, and the connection between ideas could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
