some people say that animals shoud be used for entertainment.do you agree ao dis agree?

Some
people
think
animals
should be used for
entertainment
. Arguing that it can provide a source of enjoyment and education for humans.After considering the issue from all viewpoints, I believe that
animals
should not be used for
entertainment
as it results in their mistreatment and suffering.
Instead
, we should look for alternative options
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
entertainment
that don't need to put species in pain. Using
animals
for
entertainment
involves a lot of unnecessary harm to
animals
.
Animals
often suffer from hard training methods and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
kept in bad conditions.
This
can cause them stress, anxiety, and even dangerous
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Using
animals
in
entertainment
also
teaches
people
that
animals
are just things to use for their own
entertainment
, which can lead to bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
towards
animals
.
Instead
, we should find ways to have fun without harming non-humans.
Furthermore
, using
animals
for
entertainment
makes
Verb problem
poses
show examples
a risk to both
animals
and humans. Some
animals
can become aggressive and unpredictable
due to
hard training methods and living conditions.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
the case of circus
animals
, these risks are even greater, as these
animals
can escape and possibly cause harm or even death to
people
.
Overall
, the use of
animals
in
entertainment
is unsafe and harmful to both
animals
and
people
. In conclusion, The use of
animals
in
entertainment
has many disadvantages, including negative effects on animal welfare and human safety. It is important for us to find other forms of
entertainment
that don't involve
animals
,
such
as music, art, or sports
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that both humans and
animals
are treated with respect .
This
can help create a kinder and more moral future for everyone.
Submitted by t.jenab on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider including more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. This will make your response more engaging and convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied and advanced linking words to illustrate relationships between your ideas more clearly. This will help create a smoother flow throughout your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the main argument against using animals for entertainment and follows through to a clear conclusion.
logical structure
The ideas are well-organized, with each paragraph discussing a different aspect of the argument. This enhances readability and understanding.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay makes a persuasive argument against using animals for entertainment, pointing out ethical issues and alternatives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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