Some people believe that the best way to improve the quality of healthcare in a country is to train and hire more doctors and nurses. Do you agree or disagree?
It has been investigated that to improve the quality of healthcare in a
country
is to train and hire more doctors
and nurses. In somewhat I almost agree with that. As we both know that Viet Nam is a developing country
and our healthcare system really needs to get more improvements. You can realized
that many patients have to go to Wrong verb form
realise
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
like Singapore, Japan
... to get the treatment. And the medical education system in Vietnam is Correct word choice
and Japan
also
different with
the others Change preposition
from
that
make our medical degree can't Correct pronoun usage
which
be
approved in Fix the infinitive
to be
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
. In fact, when some doctors
go abroad for training but they just are allowed to work in the labs, they don't have permission to exam
patients directly. So the government should find some solutions to support medical Replace the word
examine
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
increasing
their abilities in medicine. Change preposition
in increasing
For example
, we can hide some expats
from Correct your spelling
ex-pats
US
, Correct article usage
the US
Europe
... who have a huge Correct word choice
and Europe
academy
knowledge working here in Replace the word
academic
short-term
, we can learn Correct article usage
the short-term
each
other or collaborate with them to Change preposition
from each
hand-over
some high medical techniques. Correct your spelling
hand over
Besides
that, training is still keep
the main role, Change the verb form
still keeps
firstly
we should have a good medical program approving
by some famous Wrong verb form
approved
Commitees
like USMLE, Correct your spelling
Committees
ASCO
, all medical staffs have to learn and get the annual certificate Correct word choice
and ASCO
that
called CME, Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
means we have to study Correct pronoun usage
which
everyday
, updating new guidelines and new techniques, just a bit different idea that we should hire Replace the word
every day
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
doctors
and nurses instead
of more, I'm considering that the quality is better than the number. It can be seen that,
many Remove the comma
apply
doctors
don't have job
after Add an article
a job
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
especially
in Add the comma(s)
,especially
Correct article usage
the contryside
contryside
. Most of them want to work in the city. So more medical staff are not Correct your spelling
countryside
truly
Add an article
a truly
good
idea. In conclusion, training and hiring more Correct article usage
a good
doctors
and nurses with high level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
will
help Change preposition
of will
Healthcare
system Correct article usage
the Healthcare
getting
better and betterWrong verb form
get
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite