IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many people believe fast food resturants should not be allowed to advertise do you agree?

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Fast
food
Use synonyms
 hotels have revolutionized pretty
high
Replace the word
highly
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, especially in these busy times, where almost everyone is engaged with their certain duties.
However
Linking Words
, some argue that restaurants should be authorized to market fast meal items. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, as it will be against business rights.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I will enlighten the benefits which fast
food
Use synonyms
 items can bring to society .First and foremost, it can be made in a short matter of
while
Linking Words
 with the least work.
For instance
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, in the modern technological era, almost every second person is caught in a tight schedule , so they find it hard to make time to cook.
As a result
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, meals like pizza and burgers which can be ordered at any time are enough to remove the appetite and are proven to be a great benefit to the working society.
Secondly
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, the fast meal appeared to be a great source of enjoyment , which can be served at parties and functions.
Subsequently
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, fast
food
Use synonyms
 plays an integral role in an advanced environment,
Moreover
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, putting a ban on the advertisement of some item which proves to be more beneficial than harmful, does not make sense.
Besides
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, it will
also
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 be against the business codes and unethical to restrict a thing which is generating great revenue for the nation.
For example
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, restraining the fast items from promotion may result in a loss of earnings for a group , whose only source of income is a restaurant outlet.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will cause economic damage to both the individual and the country.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I am strongly against the idea of not allowing entrepreneurs to promote
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 hotels. Doing
this
Linking Words
 will end up creating big problems , especially for those who are already running low on time.

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt and clearly presents your stance on the issue. Provide a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that align with your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a stronger and more cohesive structure for your essay. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of your writing.
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