IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the idea that high schools should prohibit students from using their sell phones at school?

#idea #schools #students #phones #school
It is often argued that the high
school
 system should provide prohibition to students from using their gadgets at
school
, whilst others disagree that
this
 regulation should be implemented for pupils. As far as I am concerned, I vehemently agree with the
second
 notion and
this
 essay will discuss them based on my personal opinions that can be given below.
First
 of all, the improvement in technologies nowadays has made an enormous impact on society, especially on
education
.
Therefore
, one of the
first
 benefits of allowing students to
use
 mobile phones is to have effective and efficient access to find information related to the subjects that are needed for
school
 children.
For example
,in my high
school
 in Jakarta, the
school
 system allow pupils to
use
 devices in the classroom in order to gain information easily and quickly.
As a result
,
this
 situation would optimize the process of
education
 in the classroom.
On the other hand
, despite the advantages, there is
also
 a drawback to
this
 regulation. In
this
 situation, some pupils may
use
 their mobile phones for gaming or something
that is
 not related to
education
.
This
 would mean that the
use
 of mobile phones could distract their attention.
For instance
, one of my friends from the class is often using his gadget to play games.
As a result
, he got the lowest mark on the exam compared with others. To sum it up, using
such
 devices at
school
 indeed gives a lot of benefits for students.
However
, the teacher
also
 has obligation to control
this
 regulation in order to maximize the process of learning in the
education
 centre.
Submitted by hendonhp27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prohibit
  • foster
  • distract
  • academic performance
  • face-to-face interaction
  • cyberbullying
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • compromising the integrity
  • educational tool
  • online resources
  • collaborate
  • emergency situations
  • lifeline
  • critical situations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: