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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #rise #obesity #children
Involving
obesity
, there are some people who have believed that the authorities should take responsibility for the increase of overweight
children
 these days. In my opinion, I would not agree with that idea since
instead
 of the government, the one who is more responsible in
this
 stance is obviously the
parents
.
To begin
 with, the main causes of the rise in childhood
obesity
 are unhealthy daily diet and lack of outdoor activities. Because
children
, especially before approaching their teenager,
parents
 are the ones who take care of their meals every day.
However
, recently, it is not only
children
 but
also
 more and more adults rely on fast
food
 and unhealthy large diets of
food
.
Instead
 of home cooking, the priority they take for fast
food
 is one of the main causes of the gradual increase in
obesity
 nowadays.
Otherwise
, because of the development of social networks and the steady disappearance of spaces, the young generation now has fewer opportunities to engage in outdoor activities than in the past. The way current
parents
 indulge their
children
 in sitting the whole day to watch TV or play games
also
 should have been reconsidered. Since participating in sports is not only beneficial for
children
's growth but
also
 helps them avoid being overweight thanks to the calorie deficit. To conclude,
instead
 of blaming the government for the rise of
obesity
,
parents
 nowadays should pay more attention to the balance of their kids' daily
food
 and activities, to prevent
children
 from being overweight, as well as help them grow healthily and comprehensively.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
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