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Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the consequences of the improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentancy is increasing. Do yo think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays One of the results of developed medical
care
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 is that communities are living longer, and life expectancy is increasing. I believe majorly pons outweigh drawbacks. On the
first
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 hand, the development of medical
care
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 has got an advantage
such
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 as patient satisfaction and protection against infection.
First
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 Pons is Being healthy.
Health
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 is the most important thing for
people
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. An extensive survey conducted by CNN revealed that improvements in medical
care
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 increase the percentage of happy
people
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. When
people
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 s morale increases they live longer. The
second
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 advantage is protecting against infection.
People
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 must protect themselves against disease. Research conducted recently indicated that medical
care
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 innovations preserve new infections. İf
people
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 secure themselves against sickness their life quality will increase.
On the other hand
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, the growth of medical
care
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 leads to some cons
such
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 as increasing
health
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care
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 expenditure and adaptation problems. The
first
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 drawback is increasing
health
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care
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 expenditure.
people
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 should spend less money on
health
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care
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services
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. A study carried out by World
Health
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 Organization showed that 30% of
people
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 cannot afford to pay for their
health
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care
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services
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,
therefore
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 thousands of
people
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 are hopeless and waiting for death. The
second
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 drawback is adaptation problems. Adaptation is so crucial for
people
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, especially in some circumstances. According to a recent poll, 60% of
people
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 cannot adopt improvements in technology, if patients cannot adopt, they will be uncomfortable and stressed To conclude There are many pros and cons of the improvement of
health
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care
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services
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. Professors suggested that in future
health
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care
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services
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 advantages outweigh
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disadvantages,
such
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 as living longer and increasing happiness rate. As for me, advantages have dominated the disadvantage.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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