IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Meat Production requires relatively more lands than crop production. Some people think as land is becoming scare, the world’s meat consumption should be reduced. What measures could be taken to reduce world’s meat consumption? What kind of problem such measures caused?

Nowadays, a vast area of land is used for
meat
Use synonyms
 production compared to crop cultivation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a growing number of people argue that
meat
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 should be reduced as arable land becomes increasingly scarce. Governments can address
this
Linking Words
 issue by imposing taxes on
meat
Use synonyms
 products and promoting plant-based
protein
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 these measures may lead to certain financial and social problems. First of all, authorities can impose higher taxes on
meat
Use synonyms
 products to discourage
consumption
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.
As a result
Linking Words
 of increased prices, consumers may be forced to reduce their intake or switch to alternative sources of
protein
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people are more likely to choose plant-based foods, which are often more affordable.
In addition
Linking Words
, governments can support the production of plant-based
protein
Use synonyms
 or artificial
meat
Use synonyms
 by providing incentives to producers.
This
Linking Words
 would increase the availability of non-
meat
Use synonyms
 products and give consumers a wider range of choices.
However
Linking Words
, these measures may
also
Linking Words
 create some negative consequences.
For instance
Linking Words
, higher food prices could place a financial burden on low-income individuals, making it difficult for them to afford a balanced diet.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a decline in
meat
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 could lead to job losses in the livestock industry, particularly among workers in animal farming.
This
Linking Words
 reduction in demand may result in fewer employment opportunities in related sectors. In conclusion, governments can reduce
meat
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consumption
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 through taxation and by promoting alternative
protein
Use synonyms
 sources.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 measures may cause economic difficulties for certain groups and lead to unemployment in the
meat
Use synonyms
 production industry.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You tell us what can be done and what problems may happen, but you can add one more clear idea for each part.
task response
Use a more exact example. For example, name one country, one tax, or one real plant food to make your point stronger.
task response
Some ideas are clear, but they are still a bit general. Explain a little more how each measure will reduce meat use.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main job. Keep this clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but do not use too many in every sentence. Sometimes simple sentences can sound stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your second body paragraph gives problems clearly, but you can develop each problem a bit more with one short result or example.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas move in a logical order and are easy to understand.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scarce land
  • meat consumption
  • crop production
  • reduce demand
  • plant-based diet
  • public campaign
  • food tax
  • clear label
  • animal farming
  • protein source
  • balanced diet
  • job loss
  • rural area
  • cultural habit
  • high price
  • land use
  • water use
  • climate harm
  • public health
  • government support
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