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Band 3.5

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #children #team #work
There are a lot of kinds of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 in the world. It
thoughts
Add a missing verb
is thoughts
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 by people that with
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
children
 became able to compete, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 tend to
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 that
sport
 gives them
first
 of all learning of
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
. I think that
sport
 teaches each of both abilities. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain that competition and cooperation are equal to each other.
First
 of all,
sport
 is
team
 game usually and it’s true that
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 skills will improve significantly. Playing in
team
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
 each player has responsibilities for their
work
 and knowing that if one person set off, the whole
team
 can lose.
Moreover
, they teach how to trust and understand each other to overcome difficulties together and be a cohesive
team
.
On the other hand
, while
children
participating
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
 they improve their competitiveness. Playing tournaments they
have
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tohave
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achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
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 to win and with ups and down they reach the goal.
Furthermore
, they enhance character during
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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for example
 not
to give
Change the verb form
giving
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 up after
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 or even
win
Wrong verb form
winning
show examples
 after losing in
game
Add an article
the game
show examples
 process. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
sport
 teaches
children
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both skills but
first
 of all
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 is
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
show examples
 of success. Each person is part of all
team
 and only together they can be able to
competitive
Replace the word
compete
show examples
 to reach a high result. In conclusion, playing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
children
 learn how to
competitive
Replace the word
compete
show examples
 and
work
 in
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
 since it’s two important skills that help get achievements.
Submitted by margachitak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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