IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #children #team #work
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There are a lot of kinds of
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 in the world. It
thoughts
Add a missing verb
is thoughts
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 by people that with
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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children
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 became able to compete, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 tend to
opinion
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the opinion
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 that
sport
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 gives them
first
Linking Words
 of all learning of
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team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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work
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. I think that
sport
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 teaches each of both abilities. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will explain that competition and cooperation are equal to each other.
First
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 of all,
sport
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 is
team
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 game usually and it’s true that
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Correct your spelling
teamwork
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team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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work
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 skills will improve significantly. Playing in
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team
Add an article
the team
a team
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 each player has responsibilities for their
work
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 and knowing that if one person set off, the whole
team
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 can lose.
Moreover
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, they teach how to trust and understand each other to overcome difficulties together and be a cohesive
team
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.
On the other hand
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, while
children
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participating
Wrong verb form
participate
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 they improve their competitiveness. Playing tournaments they
have
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tohave
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achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
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 to win and with ups and down they reach the goal.
Furthermore
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, they enhance character during
Add an article
the game
a game
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game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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for example
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 not
to give
Change the verb form
giving
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 up after
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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 or even
win
Wrong verb form
winning
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 after losing in
game
Add an article
the game
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 process. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
sport
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 teaches
children
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the
Remove the article
apply
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both skills but
first
Linking Words
 of all
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Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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work
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 is
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
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 of success. Each person is part of all
team
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 and only together they can be able to
competitive
Replace the word
compete
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 to reach a high result. In conclusion, playing
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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children
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 learn how to
competitive
Replace the word
compete
show examples
 and
work
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 in
Use synonyms
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
 since it’s two important skills that help get achievements.
Submitted by margachitak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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