Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
have different views on success in life.
While
many
people
argue that good
plan
management
skills
are the most important element to success in life, others believe that other factors,
such
as fortune and hard
work
, are more important.
This
essay will discuss both views in detail. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
might think that having good
time
management
skills
is important.
Firstly
, good planning
skills
lead to
people
's
lives
being more organized.
This
is because being able to
plan
everything well helps
people
to know what to prioritise in their daily
lives
.
This
ensures that everything is under their control, meaning their
lives
would not drift in directions that they might not expect.
As a result
, their
work
efficiencies could improve significantly.
Secondly
, good
plan
management
skill is a key factor
to achieve
Change preposition
in achieving
show examples
a
work
-life balance.
People
with the ability to
plan
things well tend to know how to allocate their
time
in a more organized way.
This
means that they might have more
time
to care for themselves and their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
ones, strengthening their family bonds.
This
could positively improve their mental health.
On the other hand
, good
time
management
skills
would mean nothing if one is not hardworking enough to pursue the scheduled
plan
.
As a result
, the planned schedule would stay as a
plan
that is
never completed. In other words,
time
management
skills
would be meaningless without
hardworkingness
Replace the word
hard work
show examples
.
Moreover
, hard
work
with determination will prepare
people
for their later
lives
when they are involved in the labour force. In conclusion,
while
having good
plan
management
skills
is important, other factors
such
as hard
work
can not be neglected.
Submitted by ngoclamthieunang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You have discussed both views on success in life, presented clear ideas and relevant examples. However, ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, but you could improve coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • good planning
  • goals
  • objectives
  • allocation of resources
  • uncertainty
  • productivity
  • hard work
  • diligence
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • continuous improvement
  • challenges
  • setbacks
  • luck
  • opportunities
  • favorable circumstances
  • outcome
  • personal opinion
  • crucial
  • unpredictable
  • remain open
What to do next:
Look at other essays: