IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some
people
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 think that governments should spend public money to explore the possibilities for life on other
planets
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.
While
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 some support
this
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 opinion, others are against it. These opinions have their considerations. In the current global climate change situation, where the
Earth
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's temperature is rapidly getting hotter, water levels are increasing, and natural disasters have occurred more often,
this
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 may make some public question whether
this
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 planet will still be suitable for us to live in the upcoming years. Knowing that, and
also
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 the fact that the galaxy is boundless, where there may be other habitable
planets
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 out there for us, some
people
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 think that spending money to explore the possibilities for life on other
planets
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 might actually seem like a good long-term investment for all humanity rather than a waste. But
this
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 takes an enormous amount of
resources
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that the problems we find on
Earth
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 are not completely unresolvable. Preserving our environment by
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Change the adverb
consecutive
show examples
 reforestation in all countries, cleaning the ocean, resorting to sustainable
resources
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 and energy, and maintaining a healthy food chain. These are doable actions, but need
resources
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 and unanimous agreement from all countries and parties to do so. So some
people
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 think that rather than spending the
resources
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 needed for exploring the other
planets
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, which the result is still uncertain, the money should be redirected to save the
earth
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 first. Considering both views, I believe that focusing on saving the
Earth
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 is a much more sensible decision. We can not know whether we would find another planet,
This
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 is where we live now, and by doing nothing to save the
earth
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, we might not even have a planet to live in.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the two differing views on government spending for space exploration. However, make sure to add a clear thesis statement that more directly presents your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are sections where ideas could flow more smoothly from one to the next. Using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You provided a few examples of actions that can be taken to address issues on Earth, but elaborating on these examples would strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
content
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the concerns regarding government spending on extraterrestrial life.
content
Your conclusion presents your opinion clearly and reinforces the importance of focusing on issues on Earth, which is a strong finishing point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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