IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research
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It has
became
Change the verb form
become
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 a controversial debate
between
Change preposition
among
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 who
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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 misuse of
animals
Use synonyms
 is against
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human ethics so excessive
coloning
Correct your spelling
colouring
cloning
colonising
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 should be
baned
Correct your spelling
banned
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 while others believe they are an integral part of biodiversity evolution as being hunted by
further
Linking Words
 creatures or been experienced biologically by scientists.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 we would have a deep looking
on
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at
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 both views
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 strongly support the
letter
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letter's
show examples
Correct your spelling
point
poit
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point
 of view
with
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by
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 bringing evidence.
First
Linking Words
 and
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foremost
for most
formost
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foremost
, exploiting
animals
Use synonyms
 from domestic to wild one is not fair and humanitarian
furthermore
Linking Words
,would be extremely destructive to wildlife or maybe
Correct your spelling
lead
led
laed
Correct your spelling
lead
 to extinction in some species or
imperiling
Wrong verb form
imperil
show examples
 them.
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 hunting quadruples as herbivores
Correct your spelling
without
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict control could lead them to diminish meanwhile all terrestrials have the right of living whereas being hunted by nature
as
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is
show examples
 natural
not
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,not
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 by the
mans
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men
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are opponents who believe that consuming grounding or shellfish in a justiciary manner,not only can play an important role in
science
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scientific
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 development but
also
Linking Words
 could novel attitude to food production
hence
Linking Words
 providing
vast
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a vast
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 source of ingredients for society too.
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 there are numerous committees
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 defend animal rights while applying patch tests in laboratories on them in order to provide healthy food sources for people or products cosmetics with
less
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fewer
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 side effects. In conclusion,
practice
Replace the word
practising
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animals
Use synonyms
 in an environmentally friendly method could be constructive
in contrast
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 opponents who believe
animals
Use synonyms
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in food pyramid or scientific trials should be banned totally.
Submitted by mr.rahimi30 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
What to do next:
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