Many manufactured food and drinks products contain a high level of sugar, cause health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree?

#food #drinks #products #level #sugar #health #people

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There has been a phenomenon that many processed

food

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and drink

products

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contain a high level of

sugar

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. Some suggest those

products

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should be made expensive to encourage people to consume less

sugar

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. I don't agree with

this

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argument, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.

First

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, they are in line with the demands of the market. Due to technological development, many people's working time is elongated; they tend to work longer and have a shorter break.

Therefore

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, in order to spend less time on meals, many choose manufactured

food

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. As we know, those

food

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products

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contain a high level of

sugar

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, which can be eaten to top up energy quickly. At

this

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point, processed

food

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seems the ideal option for those workers; on account of its rich

sugar

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On the contrary

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, if those

food

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products

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tend to be sold more expensively,

then

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such

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a situation will influence countless workers negatively.

Second

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sugar

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can improve the flavour. As mentioned in the

last

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paragraphs, today's working hours are extended because of technological development. Some particular occupations,

such

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as construction workers, are affected largely. As we know, being a construction worker is demanding and challenging; they work in the construction points arduously every day.

Hence

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, they will choose

food

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with a heavy taste to top up their energy definitely. In

this

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case, manufactured

food

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can satisfy their needs.

On the other hand

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sugar

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indeed causes health problems;

thus

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this

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issue should be addressed.

For instance

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, factories can put less

sugar

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and oil

instead

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of increasing their prices. It's expected that

sugar

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and oil contribute a lot to health problems;

therefore

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, were they to use less,

then

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this

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issue could be solved to a large extent. In conclusion, I can't entirely agree with

this

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idea; I believe there are other better solutions.

Submitted by junyiwu029 on Mon Aug 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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Many manufactured food and drinks products contain a high level of sugar, cause health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree.

More and more people and organizations are using digital technology to communicate with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication and do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?