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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 some university
students
Use synonyms
 are eager to take extra-curricular classes
in addition
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 to their primary topics, others are certain that it is essential for them to dedicate their time and focus to obtaining the qualification.
This
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 essay will analyze both points of view and present my opinion on the subject. On the one hand, enrolling in subjects that are not directly relevant to the major allows
students
Use synonyms
 to have a calm and pleasurable academic experience
while
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 earning extra credits, as the major topics might get exhausting. A medical student,
for example
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, may benefit from extra-curricular language programs that are not only more enjoyable and simpler to learn than other field-related studies but can
also
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 raise his GPA.
Students
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,
on the other hand
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, must gain fundamental knowledge about the fields they choose in order to graduate and become certified workers, which demands their entire attention and concentration on their key
courses
Use synonyms
. Everything else may cause distractions.
For example
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, it is commonly recognized that medicine is an arduous subject of study in which
students
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 must work extremely hard to graduate. If medical
students
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 take unrelated subjects, they will become sidetracked and lose focus on what is most important to their future careers. In my opinion,
students
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 have the right to choose their elective
courses
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;
nevertheless
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, these classes should be omitted from the grading system because it is unjust to others who are indifferent. The same medical student should be allowed to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in an extra-curricular language class if he so desires, but his results should not be reflected in his GPA, and he should continue to study hard to achieve his degree in medicine, the same as his classmates. In conclusion, some university
students
Use synonyms
 would want to take non-field-related classes
in addition
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 to their core subjects because it allows them to relax and earn extra credits. Others,
however
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, believe that fully committing to the major
courses
Use synonyms
 is more crucial for their job prospects. Personally, I support the right of
students
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 to choose, but elective
courses
Use synonyms
 should not be academically recorded in the final sources.

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Enhance Argument Depth
Your essay provides a well-rounded analysis of the subject, touching upon various perspectives. You might want to deepen your argumentation by presenting more diverse examples or evidence to support your points.
Language Variety
Include a wider variety of linkers and transition phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within them.
Structure
You have maintained a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, which greatly aids in understanding your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion neatly package your essay, providing a clear viewpoint and summarizing your discussion effectively.
Example Usage
The real-world examples provided bolster your arguments and make them more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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