IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the competitive sports have positive effects on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Advantages and disadvantages

#people #sports #effects #child’s #education
In
this
 contemporary world,
competition
 in schools at both academic and
sports
 levels has become increasingly vital. Some individuals think that having tough
competition
 aids juveniles to work hard and prove their ability, while others think that failure on
such
 occasions might lead to a negative mental impact. Out of a plethora of advantages a healthy
competition
 brings, the most preponderant one is that when children take part in
sports
, they develop both mentally and physically.
Thus
, some children learn to handle pressure well in intense situations, while others feel rejuvenated when they play some physical games.
Moreover
, youngsters
also
 enhance their physical strength and posture, when they do regular exercise,
Add a hyphen
warm-ups
show examples
warm ups
Add a hyphen
warm-ups
show examples
, and practice.
As a result
, they develop a sportsman spirit and put in numerous efforts to achieve success in
sports
 and studies.
For instance
, a survey showed that 85% of sportsmen did better in studies compared to ordinary students. There are,
however
, some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the potential benefits of competitive
sports
. The primary one is that
competition
 makes people selfish and in order to win a game, people forget about relationships and humanity.
Consequently
,
this
 leads to disputes among players.
Furthermore
, defeat in the
competition
 might
also
 have a mental impact, which might
further
 lead to anxiety and depression.
Therefore
, a child might feel that he is a failure. To illustrate, after losing the final of club cricket in 2018, I could not focus well on my exams,
hence
 my results were poor. To sum up, having put forth all the substantial arguments, I can conclude that
although
 competitive
sports
 do create strong sportsmanship and hardworking personality among the youth, the psychological impact it may have on the children when they face defeat is
Add a hyphen
far-reaching
show examples
far reaching
Add a hyphen
far-reaching
show examples
 indeed.
Submitted by abhaygill003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: