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Band 4.5

while it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, other believe that there other better ways to deal with them. what is your opnion?

#prison #place #criminals #opnion
Criminals
 and prisons are present in every kind of community, whether
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed or developing countries. Some of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of people have a point of view that, the best way to punish the offenders is to keep them in custody, while
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of them come with
other opinion
Change the wording
another opinion
other opinions
show examples
that is
 ,there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of other strategies or ways to punish them. In the
futher
Correct your spelling
further
future
 essay, how former's thoughts are not acceptable as well as later kind for persons having
a different ideas
Correct the article-noun agreement
different ideas
a different idea
show examples
 is better will be discussed. On the one side, every type of sin
commmiters
Correct your spelling
committers
committees
for instance
 minor and major
criminals
 are kept in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place
that is
 an
inapprpriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
 idea, because juvenile
criminals
 can attain more information from their fellows who are serious
criminals
. A murderer can be a source of inspiration for a pickpocketer or
shop lifter
Correct your spelling
shoplifter
show examples
.
For instance
, a study was conducted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
harvard
Change the capitalization
Harvard
show examples
 University, which
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 that 50% of the street
criminals
 who are kept with serial
criminals
 became more harmful to the community after their liberation rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
responsible
Add an article
a responsible
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 after punishment. Overall, the more interaction with dangerous prisoners, the more will be
courage
Add an article
the courage
show examples
 to commit lawlessness by minor
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. Meanwhile,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 bunch of people and my own opinion is that there are other several methods like fine and community service, to penalize
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the law-breakers, which will prove helpful to make them beneficial for society. Money, which would
collected
Change the verb form
be collected
collect
show examples
, can be useful for meeting the needs of
Correct your spelling
poor
Correct article usage
the poors
show examples
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
 or for any NGO. If exemplify, America runs
this
 same pattern, resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 UNICEF. Whereas, a person should be compelled to serve the people
surrounds
Wrong verb form
surrounding
show examples
,
by
Correct pronoun usage
them by
her by
him by
show examples
 the court.
Variety
Correct article usage
A variety
show examples
 of punishments can deter them to commit crimes. In the final analysis,
diversity
Correct article usage
a diversity
show examples
 of laws for
criminals
 will be more effective rather than to
caught
Change the form of the verb
catch
show examples
 them in
Add an article
the cell
a cell
show examples
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
. Minimizing the links between major and minor culprits
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will
consequently
 show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 less number of them, but gathered cash and
free of cost
Add a hyphen
free-of-cost
show examples
 labour will
advantageous
Add a missing verb
be advantageous
show examples
 in hundreds of ways.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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