IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that mobile phones are unnecessary for young group while others find that its useful for younger ones discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #phones #group #ones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are irrelevant for the younger generation, while others believe that it is useful.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both opinions before giving a conclusion. On the one hand, having mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 can benefit an individual on various occasions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can help young
ones
Use synonyms
 with their education. It is a tool to get access to educational information like assignments, ideas for designing a school project and classroom presentations. It
also
Linking Words
 allows a person to have knowledge of what is happening around the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 can be of help in regard to communication. A person can use it, in case of emergency purposes and it can be used to talk with their loved
ones
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, digital
phones
Use synonyms
 can help the younger generation reduce the stress they build up in everyday schooling. Going to school is fun, you get to see old friends and meet new
ones
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 give pressure on different occasions. Using cell
phones
Use synonyms
 to play games and engage in social media will alleviate some of their worries for it entertains the user, even just temporary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, prohibiting the younger generation to have mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 might push them to make effort in certain things. They will persevere to look for information in an old fashion way, they won't succumb to the temptation that they have seen on social media.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not having cell
phones
Use synonyms
 in their day-to-day life, will promote less distraction and they would be able to hang out with their friends outside and have recreational activities among their peers.
Although
Linking Words
 it is for the best that young
ones
Use synonyms
 don't have mobile
phones
Use synonyms
, in my opinion, they should be given one, for it will give them security and protection in emergencies.
In addition
Linking Words
, they would have access to information, whether it's for educational, personal or entertainment purposes.
Submitted by angelica on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: