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Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past, most people lived in small villages, where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only knew a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and the disadvantages of living in small community?

#people #villages #cities #area #community
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In the former times, the majority of
people
 lived in some small communities where they were born so the relationship between
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 and their
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
is very close-knit.
Nevertheless
, in the modern world,
people
 tend to move and live in the big cities which is the most famous and modern
town
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it leads to making a
lot
 of differences. I believe that there are three main reasons why the citizens live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small communities.
First
 of all,
people
 love the best environment when they live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small
town
, maybe because the air there is much fresher than it’s in the city. The small village always has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tranquil and peaceful atmosphere which a
lot
 of inhabitants adore.
Moreover
, the lower cost of living is
also
 the biggest
advantages
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advantage
show examples
 when you live in the small countryside.
People
 who live here seem to don’t have to worry about money because every
goods
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good
show examples
 here are much cheaper than in the big
town
.
Lastly
, because of the close-knit relationship in the small country,
people
 can be helped
everytime
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every time
show examples
 by their
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
. They
also
 never make
a big arguments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big argument
big arguments
show examples
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small
town
 has some drawbacks.
Firstly
, illiteracy here is very common, the main reason is that there is no school in the small countryside or if
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have, the nearest school is much far away from the
Correct your spelling
children's
chidren’s
Correct your spelling
children’s
 house.
Therefore
, the education here is not developed.
Furthermore
, the rate of unemployment there is much higher than in the big cities, so there
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 a
lot
 of families who are very poor and they can’t earn enough money to pay for life. In my opinion, the
Correct your spelling
advantages
avantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small communities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 greater than in the city.
Although
 the family had less money to pay for life, the relationship between
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and their
neighbour
 or they and their family members is much better.
People
 will have a
lot
 of
neighbour
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neighbours
show examples
 around
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they can believe.
Submitted by thuynguyensp2711 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sense of community
  • Bond
  • Close-knit
  • Tight-knit
  • Belonging
  • Familiarity
  • Security
  • Support system
  • Social connections
  • Look out for
  • Have someone's back
What to do next:
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