IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many agricultural lands are being converted into commercial centres. How does this affect the environment and the people’s lifestyle? Discuss this situation and provide suggestions to address these issues. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that urbanization has led to a depletion of green spaces in order to fuel the demand for more houses and roads.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 poses a threat to the environment and has grave ramifications which will be elucidated in the following essay, and viable solutions will be suggested. To commence, the expansion of industrial markets to the detriment of farmlands has increased dramatically which has a malicious impact on the surroundings. To illustrate, if the number of shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 and factories grows, the air pollution
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 caused by smog and pollutants substances will raise speedily.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many people may suffer from deadly diseases,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as lung cancer, asthma, and Hypertension. What can be said is that the oxygen
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 produced by green areas throughout photosynthesis is crucial for reducing air pollution and losing a great deal of planted spaces could have far-reaching repercussions on individuals` public health. To tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem, the authorities should come forward to conserve and protect cultivated land. More specifically, when governments constitute striker punishment to deter building over grasslands, scraping cultivated lands will come to a halt. A prominent example of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in Egypt is most illegal building works have stopped after the parliament legislated to demolish unauthorized constructions that were done at the expense of green areas which led to incurring additional costs on the offenders. Not only is the low legislation important, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 strict procedures should be taken to enforce it. In conclusion, after
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay has manifested the above-mentioned views, it can be noticed that the extension of commercial constructions has affected passively on nation`s health, and the underlying causes of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a phenomenon should be tackled.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: