Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Despite the huge revolution of modern
medicines
these days, there are still numerous patients who heavily rely on traditional
medicines
and other options. At
this
point, contentions have been arising whether
this
trend tends to be jeopardous or not. From my perspective,
this
trend seems to create harmful habits among the population. In
this
essay, I will explore both sides of the impacts and elaborate my points more. To commence with, the rapid lifestyles of people nowadays can be seen as one of the factors that modify behaviour to other remedies
such
as herbs, acupuncture, or osteopathy. To illustrate more, they desire the symptoms to be alleviated as soon as possible and they are convinced that going to the hospital is time-consuming or exorbitant.
Hence
, people have turned to traditional healers and ancient medical knowledge more and more as they can instantly respond to these illnesses.
However
, non-conventional
medicines
may have some limited boundaries, mainly
due to
the lack of sufficient technology and intellect, unlike receiving treatment from professionals. Severe illnesses that require operations or chronic diseases that need intensive care from trained paramedics clearly reflect the incompetence of traditional medicine.
For instance
, chemotherapy is crucial for cancer patients to eradicate fast-growing cancer cells in their bodies.
Therefore
, regular health inspections with doctors are still necessary. In conclusion, thanks to the up-to-date knowledge in the medical field, people can consider alternative methods as parts of the remedy, but they should not abandon conventional
medicines
as they are more accurate and effective when it comes to serious diseases.
Submitted by atikan17042547 on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position throughout, it is imperative to substantiate your main points with more pertinent examples. This lends weight to your argument and enhances the reader's understanding. Try to incorporate illustrations that are more directly related to the disadvantages or advantages of alternative medicines, rather than general illustrations of behavior related to rapid lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay well with an introduction and conclusion present. However, improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs for a more seamless flow and a clearer logical structure. Include words or phrases that help the reader understand the relationships between your ideas, such as contrastive conjunctions or sequential markers.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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