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Writing Samples
Band 6

With the growing population in cities, more and more people live in homes with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

There is a growing trend in urban
areas
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 that
people
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 are living in accommodations with small or no outdoor spaces. The growing population and poverty are two prominent reasons for
this
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 phenomenon. In my opinion, it is a negative trend because it causes many health-related problems.
This
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 discourse will discuss the reasons and
further
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 elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs. Analyzing the statement and explaining it
further
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, the
first
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 and foremost important reason to live in small places is the growing population. These days, more and more
people
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 are moving toward the urban
areas
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 from villages which increases the demand for more
houses
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. To
fulfill
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fulfil
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this
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 demand
people
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 start splitting
houses
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 and make snake congested apartments.
Moreover
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, the demand for more
houses
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 leads to increases in the prices of proper accommodations.
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Therefore
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Therefor
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Therefore
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 poor
people
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 can not afford to live in better
houses
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.
For instance
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, In Karachi, the vast majority of
people
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 are coming from rural
areas
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 of Pakistan.
This
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 makes it a very dirty and populated city in the world.
People
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 have no option other than living in cramped spaces.m In
this
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 way, poverty, and less affordability become the
second
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 largest reason for living in these kinds of
house
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houses
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. Probing ahead, living in congested places causes many health problems.
Firstly
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, obesity is one of the biggest issues because
people
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 have no or very less for physical exercise.
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Secondly
Second
Secondl
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Secondly
, another problem in these small
houses
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 is depression as
people
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 have no chance for outdoor activities.
For example
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, in the congested area in Newyork,
people
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 are 20% more stressful and than in other
areas
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 of the city. The lack of air fluency indoors can cause respiratory-related disease and undermine working efficiency. To conclude, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can conclude that poverty and increasing population are the main reason for
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people
peopl
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people
 to live in places with one or fewer outdoor
areas
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 which cause health and mental problems
such
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 as obesity, respiratory-related illnesses, and depression.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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