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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that educating people about the natural world is the most effective way to protect the environment. Other say there are more effective ways to protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #environment
There is a belief that taking care of the
environment
 will be successful if people are educated about
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
 world.
On the other hand
, there are many alternatives for protecting the
environment
. In
this
 essay, I will present those two ideas and give my opinion on them. Teaching nature to society would bring awareness to the importance of protecting the
environment
. When individuals understand nature, they will know how to keep safe their
environment
. They will be more aware of their
surroundings
 and when something
damaged
Add a missing verb
is damaged
show examples
, they will try to fix it with their knowledge of nature.
Moreover
, it would be different if they didn't have the knowledge, even though people were aware that there was something wrong, they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 not do much to fix it.
On the other hand
, there are some alternatives to keep the
environment
 safe.
For example
,
instead
 of educating society about the natural world, the Government should take
responsibility
 to protect the
environment
. The government have more than enough funds to do many activities to protect the
surroundings
.
In addition
, the Authority can engage the private sector to take
responsibility
 for maintaining the ecosystems. In conclusion, giving citizens education about the natural world would bring awareness to the ecosystems.
In contrast
, the Government and private sector
also
 have the
responsibility
 to protect the
surroundings
 because they have funds to do many activities to keep safe the
environment
. In my opinion, people should be aware of their
surroundings
,
however
, the Authority and private sector have a greater
responsibility
 for taking care of the ecosystems.
Submitted by cracko.eko on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, aim to provide more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
For a higher coherence and cohesion score, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and natural. You can use more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your argument from the beginning and leaves a strong final impression.
task achievement
You presented both views in a balanced manner and clearly stated your opinion in the conclusion, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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