IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects. Other people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both side of views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, people have different views about whether
the
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apply
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international
news
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 should be
the
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apply
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part of the
subjects
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 in
the
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apply
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secondary school or not.
Although
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 some believe that inserting the international
news
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 has an adverse impact, others, myself included, reckon that it is indeed
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the bottom-line
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bottom-line
Correct your spelling
bottom line
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 for
the
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apply
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children’s
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 education. On the one hand, embedding the
subject
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 called international
news
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 on the lists of officially approved
subjects
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 impedes loaded and valuable
children’s
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 time.
This
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 means that
children’s
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 concentration is diluted by the
assortation
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association
 of things that proved to be presumably the major
subjects
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 like
mathematic
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mathematics
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 and physics.
Therefore
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, not a nominal amount of the children
provides
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provide
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 feedback that they relinquish concerning time management in accordance with
a great deal of
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a lot of
many
plenty of
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subjects
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.
For example
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, I saw many students
are
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apply
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struggling with their existing class schedule and they are
subject
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 to lose focus
for
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on
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 any supplementary
subject
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.
Consequently
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, the new
subject
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 can hinder the
children’s
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 performance and arrangements in terms of
syllabus
Add an article
the syllabus
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.
On the other hand
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, the international
news
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subject
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 can boost their insights
about
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into
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 the process which is occurred in abroad. More importantly, instructors teaching
in
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apply
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different
subjects
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promotes
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promote
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 the
children’s
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 awareness of contemporary issues, cultures, and socioeconomic concepts. To conclude, it might be a little too much for students to have it as a new
subject
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;
however
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, I suggest that
this
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 kind of
subject
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are
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is
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 in
favor
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favour
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 of
children’s
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 formulation as well as their future
carriers
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careers
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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