Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is thought by some

people

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that

music

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has a crucial part in society;

However

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, others consider that it is just spent for entertainment purposes. In my opinion, I believe that pure

music

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is always pleasing and brings benefits to both society and

culture

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. I will discuss both sides throughout

this

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essay.

Firstly

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, it is undeniable that

music

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links us to our

culture

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and tradition.

For instance

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, the folk songs sung by various great artists in their nations are on everyone's lips. The lyrics contain many things of their

culture

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, which are alive today and passed from generation to generation.

Otherwise

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, under the influence of

western

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Western

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culture

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people

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are gradually forgetting their roots.

Therefore

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, thanks to those kinds of folk songs remind society

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is reminded of

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the

culture

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and tradition in each lyric, so that we will never forget our roots.

On the other hand

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music

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also

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a good source of entertainment.

Music

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helps to cheer everyone up. Especially, when

people

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come home after a long day working,

music

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such

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a great thing

helping

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, helping

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them to unwind. Another role of

music

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is connecting

people

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For instance

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, when

people

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go to a musical concert, they are with those

people

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who share their musical tastes. Together, they feel the emotions that the

music

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evokes

due to

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its ability to make

people

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feel connected. In conclusion,

although

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in recent years

music

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Verb problem

has

show examples

mainly

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been related

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to entertainment

due to

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the

Correct pronoun usage

its

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connections and expressions.

However

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, I believe

music

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is tremendously important for nations since it allows us to understand former nations' history and

culture

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shinyucr3

Aug 19, 2022

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coherence

Put one main idea in each paragraph and show how it links to your view from the start.

coherence

Use easy link words like and, but, also, for example, in addition, however to join ideas.

structure

Explain one idea with a small example to make it clear.

language

Check small grammar errors, for example spent on, at work, and keep my tenses simple.

structure

Finish with a short end that repeats your view and sums up the main points.

content

Give a simple example for each main point so the reader sees the link to the idea.

task response

The writer has a clear view and says both sides.

coherence

The essay uses songs and concerts as real examples to back points.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"Directors deserve higher salaries than ordinary employees." (Agree

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant to the modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Some parents give their children everything that they ask for, and allow them to do what they want. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?