IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
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Choosing a particular type and quality of
food
 has become an important aspect of human life as it has the enticing
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of providing sufficient vitamins. The question of whether to include
meat
 in
food
 or should strictly adhere to a vegetarian
diet
 has been a perennial topic of discussion.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 notion and will discuss the advantages of following a vegetarian
diet
 in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
, vegetarian
food
 helps us to achieve a well-balanced
diet
. If we carefully observe the biological cycle of a plant or a tree, we can understand the process of how it acquires nutrients. A plant receives nutrients naturally in the form of sunlight and water, which on consumption by us can directly provide the required vitamins and minerals.
Moreover
, we can
also
 include various types of plant products
such
 as leaves, fruits, naturally secreted oils and many more.
For example
, a coconut which contains abundant minerals is naturally formed.
Secondly
, the over-exploitation of animals can be regulated by following a vegetarian
diet
. Nowadays,
due to
 the soaring demand for
meat
 products, most private companies are butchering animals on a large scale without even following the legislative rules.
Furthermore
, the bulk
meat
 is being processed in uncleaned factories and stored for many days by adding preservatives.
As a result
, it becomes the main source of diseases that soon
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 transferred to humans when consumed.
For example
,
due to
 the emergence of technology over the
last
 two decades, most companies are injecting chemicals into
meat
 for longer preservation. Even Coronavirus is said to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 originated from consuming bats in some parts of China. In conclusion,
meat
 should not be included in our
food
 as a well-balanced
diet
 can be easily achieved by consuming strict vegetarian
food
.
Submitted by ppssandeep on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay and provide a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how a vegetarian diet helps achieve a well-balanced diet and regulate the over-exploitation of animals. Make sure to connect these examples directly to the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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