IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #people #environment
It is hard to deny that the
government
 is obligated to provide a tidy
environment
 for the local citizens. And
such
 a fact leads impressionable
people
 to generate the opinion that they have no responsibility to the local
environment
.
However
,
such
 a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. So I strongly hold that everyone is duty bound to maintain the local
environment
.
To begin
 with, the
government
 can hardly take the responsibility to protect the
environment
 without the assistance of local inhabitants.
That is
 because human activity is a major factor in the rise of pollution which is a hot potato for the
government
 to cope with. Taking global warming as an example, gases
such
 as carbon dioxide emitted by factories and vehicles sustainably leads to the problem more and more serious. If a human could not conscious of the endangerment of the activity, which is a principal contributor to the pollution of the
environment
, the
government
 would not tackle the problem
this
 problem alone.
Additionally
, “lucid waters and lush mountains are invaluable assets”, and keeping the
environment
 in good condition brings direct or indirect benefits to local residents. It not only helps to create good living condition but
also
 attract visitors to come for sightseeing. As tourists have a tendency to travel to a place, which has a good ecological
environment
, bringing handsome income to the indigenous citizens. As the venue can intrigue the passion of the
people
 to coordinate with the
government
 to take actions to protect the
government
. In conclusion, the power of the
government
 is limited. Only when the indigenous
people
 are apprehensive of the
environment
 can the condition take a turn for the better. It is the joint effort by
people
 and the
government
 that makes the
environment
 better.
Submitted by zoucy2001 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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