IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. While others believe that these sites are beneficial. What is your opinion?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
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In recent years there has been
great
Replace the word
greatly
show examples
influenced
Change the form of the verb
influence
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of
Change preposition
by
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 the different social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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amongst
Change preposition
by
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 and communities. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that these kinds of social
sites
Use synonyms
 bring us many advantages. I recognize these platforms are more detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 and society. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss some of the downsides of
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of these social media.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in terms of sharing the
information
Use synonyms
 on these
sites
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not verified
therefore
Linking Words
 anyone can upload any kind of
information
Use synonyms
 without any central authority to check the authentication.
As a result
Linking Words
, those
access
Correct pronoun usage
who access
show examples
 these social
sites
Use synonyms
 might be mis-leaded to false
information
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, recently there was a new spread over Facebook about
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 death of the US president which was proven fake
information
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 get more worst when we
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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as individual does not verify the
information
Use synonyms
 and share
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 our friend and family and
this
Linking Words
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
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mis-guiding
Correct your spelling
misguiding
 others.
Secondly
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, what kind of data
available
Add a missing verb
is available
show examples
 and what we are consuming from
this
Linking Words
 social networking is important for the individual and as a community. These days there are many
unappropriated
Change preposition
of unappropriated
show examples
 data available which are not suitable for teenagers.
For example
Linking Words
, as per latest data consumption record from
central
Add an article
the central
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 government of India show that there are 60-65% of
people
Use synonyms
accessing
Wrong verb form
access
show examples
 porn
contains
Replace the word
content
show examples
 through Facebook account.
This
Linking Words
 could be destructive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 social networking
sites
Use synonyms
 are helpful as communication media, I believe that we should not ignore the harmful potential related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 kind of social
Use synonyms
sites
Fix the agreement mistake
site
show examples
.
Submitted by pradipk.makwana on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: