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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #school #children #uniforms #policy
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In many parts of the world, kids are required to wear uniforms to
school
 always. As expected,
this
 practice has stirred up a lot of controversy among the populace.
This
 essay will identify some of the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 policy and provide relevant examples from personal experience.
To begin
 with, the practice encourages and fosters a sense of identity for these students.
Consequently
, they will be easily spotted as minors wherever they go.
This
 really helps when it comes to security, as
school
 uniform-wearing kids can be easily noticed, when found outside
school
 premises.
Secondly
, youngsters will be free to mingle with each other and identified as peers when wearing the same apparel. Socio-economic differences are eliminated and are all seen as equals. A classic example of
this
, is when I was in the boarding house during my upper primary
school
 days. We only saw ourselves as different; in terms of the haves and the have-nots, during weekends when parents and guardian come to visit their wards. The cars they drove in, the provisions they brought to their wards and the whole pageantry really highlighted the differences between the poor and the rich.
On the other hand
, insisting that these young ones wear a prescribed attire is an infringement on their civil liberties.
This
 policy does not give consideration to their inclinations or natural tendencies to dress in a particular way, that makes them feel comfortable.
Furthermore
, the cost implications to parents for providing these uniforms is not considered. Whenever
school
 reopens from vacation, it is observed that the prices; of stationery and other student paraphernalia, increases. In conclusion, the advantages and disadvantages of the mandatory uniforms for institutions need to be weighed and considered carefully. Whiles the policy promotes equality and enhances security, it
also
 limits self-expression and imposes financial burden on parents and guardian alike.
Submitted by asantesomuah on

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task achievement
Ensure that both sides of the argument are fully developed with a more balanced approach in the main body paragraphs.
task achievement
Make the introduction more engaging by using a hook and clearly outline the scope of the essay.
task achievement
In the conclusion, clearly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages to provide a more decisive ending.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas into clear paragraphs and make sure to have one main idea per paragraph for stronger coherence.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory
  • Disparities
  • Fostering
  • Belonging
  • Simplifies
  • Self-expression
  • Individuality
  • Entail
  • Additional costs
  • Uniformity
  • Bullying
  • Discrimination
What to do next:
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