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Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associate with the internet and solutions can you suggest?

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There is a big revolutionary change which comes
due to
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 the burgeoning use of computers and the internet in data transfer and consumption. But, at the same time, their use results in several obstacles which are completely undiscovered. The main problem associated with
this
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 is the increasing rate of cybercrime and the most effective solution is that government should make laws relating to cyber security. One evident issue is that tremendous change in sharing information results in growing cyberterrorism cases.
This
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 is because people are well conversant to work with technology but they are not acquainted with its ill effects. These threats are expanding at an alarming rate
such
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 as viruses, drones, malware, ransomware and any other form. The risk of all these attacks is increasing day by day which is beyond the control of anyone.
For example
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, the Association of Threat
control
Capitalize word
Control
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 published that e-crime rates doubled during the global pandemic. The most effective solution to the above problem is that officials should provide some legalization to eliminate these e-attacks. By doing
this
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, hackers fear punishment and imprisonment which leads to a decline in the crime rate. At the same time, the legal policy helps in the identification of every unauthorized message and transaction.
Moreover
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, various laws not only enable individuals to identify the source of origin but
also
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 provide with complaint filing procedure.
For example
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, with the enactment of the Information Technology Act, of 2001, there are certain norms and guidelines for the protection of the local public from cyberterrorism. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interest and technological advancement create pavement for umpteen criminal offences but bureaucracy should remove all barriers by passing various laws and acts.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more clear and engaging. Provide a clear thesis statement and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The response addresses the task and provides relevant examples, but it could be more comprehensive and focused. Ensure all aspects of the prompt are covered in a clear and organized manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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