Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It has been common sense that we have to become a good member of
society
. It is often argued that Use synonyms
this
should be taught by Linking Words
parents
, whilst others disagree and think it is the responsibility of the Use synonyms
school
. Use synonyms
Nonetheless
, I would argue that Linking Words
children
should learn how to be good members of Use synonyms
society
through home education provided by family.
Use synonyms
Parents
taught Use synonyms
children
a lot of things, including how to be a good person. Use synonyms
Moreover
, they are far more comfortable learning from their Linking Words
parents
as they are the person who raised them. It is Use synonyms
therefore
agreed that they should learn good manners from their Linking Words
parents
. Use synonyms
For instance
, when I was little, I used to follow every bit of things that my Linking Words
parents
did, Use synonyms
such
as appreciating other people, showing my gratitude to others, and greeting the elderly to show politeness.
Linking Words
However
, many people disagree and feel that the schools are responsible for teaching Linking Words
children
proper action and manners, as the schools have their own lessons regarding character building. In Use synonyms
this
case, Linking Words
school
is the reflection of the small-scale Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
that is
similar to the real world. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
children
learn to practice what the Use synonyms
school
has taught, Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
example
to behave well and manage their attitude toward others by showing respect to teachers and peers. Henceforth, it will be ingrained in their mind and hearts so that when they grow up, they can be a person whose morals and behaviour are accepted by Add the comma(s)
example,
society
, leading them to become a good member of Use synonyms
society
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
parents
can teach Use synonyms
children
good manners, some still feel that the Use synonyms
school
is the perfect place to build Use synonyms
children
’s character. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, I believe that parent's role is far crucial in shaping Linking Words
children
's behaviour and manner so that they can practice those aspects at Use synonyms
school
, which is a small-scale Use synonyms
society
.Use synonyms
Submitted by riani.the2 on
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are well-done, the body paragraphs could benefit from a more balanced discussion. Ensuring both viewpoints are equally elaborated will improve the score.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more linking words and phrases that clearly show relationships between ideas. This will make the essay flow better and make arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific, detailed examples to support some of the points. Adding more evidence and examples, such as studies or historical references, can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further by expanding on or explaining key points. Some sentences feel a bit rushed and could benefit from more detailed elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets up the topic and your position. This provides a strong start to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the key points and reinforces your opinion, which leaves a solid impression on the reader.
task achievement
You make good use of personal experience to highlight your argument. This makes your work more relatable and grounded.