Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

There is the idea that
music
has the power to unite
people
from diverse
cultures
and ages, and I completely support
this
notion for a range of reasons.
Music
is very essential for
cultures
around the world because it
part
Add a missing verb
is part
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of their daily lives.
People
across multiple
cultures
use
music
in their various celebrations,
such
as funerals,
naming
Correct word choice
and naming
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ceremonies. Weddings, puberty rites, initiation ceremonies,
national
Correct word choice
and national
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and community festivals. Traditional songs are sung among
individuals
from the same
cultures
and they enjoy it much because the lyrics are clear and understandable to them. It is
part
of their identity, and
therefore
do their best not to compose songs that will invoke hatred, tribalism and division. Traditional
music
portrays the history of a country and the rich cultural practices that their ancestors have initiated throughout their
live
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life
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time. They cherish
this
valuable inheritance and preserve it. But
then
the question
arise
Change the verb form
arises
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, how does
music
gather
people
of different nationalities and ages worldwide? To start with, globalisation has contributed enormously to
this
development. Nowadays
individuals
from many countries have learnt
embrace
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to embrace
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cultural diversity of which
music
forms
part
.
Music
is produced in one nationality and sold globally.
People
want to listen to something different.
This
cultural appreciation has united groups of nations. There is a sense of
belonginess
Correct your spelling
belongingness
belonging
when you hear someone
another
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from another
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country singing your local songs, how beautiful!
Music
has the power of promoting peace among
individuals
and nations.
For example
, when there is a war in one
part
of the world, musicians worldwide come together irrespective of their political background to compose
music
that can curb the tension. It can unite
people
also
through national sporting events
such
as the Olympics games where
individuals
put aside their wrath and cheer when national anthems from other parts of the world are
sang
Wrong verb form
sung
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.
Music
is a powerful tool that helps humanity of all ages to correct their mistakes. In conclusion,
people
of diverse
cultures
are connected by
music
globally
during
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on
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many occasions without considering their political affiliation or background
Submitted by emeliayorkor on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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