IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that factories and private tour operators should bear the cost of cleaning up environmental pollution, instead of the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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The reading
passage
Use synonyms
 explains three possible reasons why young
salmon
Use synonyms
 jump despite the energy required.
However
Linking Words
, the professor in the lecture argues that the three theories written about in the
passage
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 unconvincing.
First
Linking Words
, the reading
passage
Use synonyms
 states that flying insects are
also
Linking Words
 the
pray
Correct your spelling
prey
show examples
 of young
salmon
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to zooplankton, and the
salmon
Use synonyms
 jump to eat the flying insects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the professor says that the sockeye
salmon
Use synonyms
, a type of
salmon
Use synonyms
, jumps,
although
Linking Words
 it does not eat flying insects at all.
This
Linking Words
 contradicts what the
passage
Use synonyms
 indicates.
Second
Linking Words
, the reading mentions that
jumping
Correct article usage
the jumping
show examples
 of young
salmon
Use synonyms
 is required in order to flee from predators.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lecture says that if young
salmon
Use synonyms
 jump, they become more visible to their predators
such
Linking Words
 as birds or polar bears, which does not benefit young salmons.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is known that young
salmon
Use synonyms
 move in a group and when a predator
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
, they scatter away in different directions.
This
Linking Words
 is an alternative strategy not considered by the author of the reading
passage
Use synonyms
.
Third
Linking Words
, the
passage
Use synonyms
 says that jumping helps young
salmon
Use synonyms
 remove sea lice sticking to their body. Yet, in the lecture, jumping 50 times removes just one sea louse, and the strategy is simply too ineffective considering the energy of jumping
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since young
salmon
Use synonyms
 require huge amounts of energy to get stronger.
This
Linking Words
 is another part that contradicts what the reading indicates.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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