IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT SPORT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR A NATION’S DEVELOPMENT, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT SPORT IS NO MORE THAN A LEISURE TIME ACTIVITY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION

#people #sport #nation’s #development #leisure #time #activity
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Sport
Use synonyms
 is part of human being culture that consists of a range of
activities
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 with different difficulties. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
sport
Use synonyms
 is very helpful to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 nations, whereas others think
sport
Use synonyms
 is just a way to relax. In my opinion, I agree with the view that supporting
sport
Use synonyms
 is critical for a nation's development. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
sport
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 is not essential for a country's development. They think
sport
Use synonyms
 is different from work
activities
Use synonyms
 owing
sport
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 cannot output production or money.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some league matches,
however
Linking Words
, these
activities
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 are not productive
activities
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.
For example
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, football fans buy tickets to watch matches, which do not produce any products. It means, there is no contribution to the GDP.
Also
Linking Words
, these league matches are far away from ordinary
people
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,
hence
Linking Words
,
sport
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 is no more than a leisure
time
Use synonyms
 activity. It does not have enough power to develop the whole nation.
By contrast
Linking Words
, opponents believe that the
sport
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 is related to everyone. There is a strong positive relationship between sports
time
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 and health.
People
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 in the labour force may suffer from long-
time
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 work if they lack sports
activities
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when we are facing some difficult problems in the working process, the trained body will allow us to spend more
time
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 addressing the issue.
Also
Linking Words
, supporters think sports can not only train the bodies of
people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 spirits that bring us the ironic will to face challenges. In conclusion,
people
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 may ignore the extra function of
sport
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
sport
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 actually brings us a lot that more than leisure
time
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activities
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.
Submitted by Zed on

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