IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
There arises no question over the verity of the given statement that it would be lucrative
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if people try to take risks in their working
life
 and family
life
. Indeed, it has got scores of favourable aspects,
however
 some unfavourable thrives in its lap. All the praiseworthy and shortcoming points would be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Initially
, as I believe its merits hold more water, the
first
 advantage of
this
 approach is the development of family and work appreciation because of taking
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
. To be precise, to get something important, in
life
, or to achieve a goal, in the workplace, it is mandatory to sacrifice time and
also
 needed to think out of the box.
For instance
, parents often
risk
 their financial assets to fulfil the dreams of their children;
subsequently
,
such
 children always glitter the name of their parents.
However
, the other side of the picture is rather grim as it would cost dearer to one who put his
life
 at
risk
 to attain something. To be clearer,
risk
 could give a thrilling sensation, either a person could lose everything or gain something extra-ordinary. A prime illustration is Mahabharta- an Indian epic, in which the king, Yudhistra, took a
risk
 to
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 a gambling game with his cousin, Duryudhan; and resulted in the annexation of his regimen. In conclusion,
although
 there are some demerits of taking risks in
life
, professional or personal, the merits of it, which far outstrips the former, can not be missed as it offers progress and development.
Submitted by SANDHU2037 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: