IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cities, people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bike is replacing cars. Why is this a case of? Which development do you think is better?

While
Linking Words
 driving a car is becoming more and more common than cycling in some
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world, it is the reverse in other
cities
Use synonyms
 that are keen on riding a bike
instead
Linking Words
 of a car.
This
Linking Words
 is because individuals around the world have different opinions about transportation , and some of them are concerned about the environment, so they tend to choose to ride a bike. Personally, I think that switching to bikes is a better type of transportation. Since global warming is a major problem for humanity , and it is becoming worse
together with
Linking Words
 the carbon emissions that
cars
Use synonyms
 produce, more and more people are worried and trying to eliminate
this
Linking Words
 issue on their own, which can result in severe diseases connected with breathing,
for example
Linking Words
, asthma and allergies.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, reduces the usage of
cars
Use synonyms
 and decreases emissions.
However
Linking Words
, some developing
cities
Use synonyms
 are increasing the utilize of
cars
Use synonyms
, as they are crucial in terms of the economic growth of the
city
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, every
city
Use synonyms
 is prioritising the best means of transport based on its development and economic conditions. The replacement of
cars
Use synonyms
 with
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is a more beneficial development for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it promotes a healthier lifestyle for its owner as cycling provides regular physical exercise.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are environmentally friendly , producing no harmful emissions,
for instance
Linking Words
, carbon dioxide and smoke, and significantly reducing noise pollution, which is a positive development for several
cities
Use synonyms
 that are experiencing problems with air and noise pollution.
Although
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 are still necessary in some situations, particularly in rural areas or for long-distance travel, encouraging bicycle use in
cities
Use synonyms
 creates more sustainable urban environments. In conclusion, the choice between
cars
Use synonyms
 and
bicycles
Use synonyms
 varies from
city
Use synonyms
 to
city
Use synonyms
 depending on its infrastructure, geography
together with
Linking Words
 economy.
However
Linking Words
, I support
cities
Use synonyms
 that replace
cars
Use synonyms
 with
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in terms of the healthier and more environmentally friendly aspects of modern urban living.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your opinion, but try to make it more engaging. A stronger hook can capture the reader's interest better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that clearly supports your opinion. Some ideas are a bit scattered, which can confuse readers.
Task Achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your points. Mentioning real cities or facts could make your arguments stronger and clearer.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion that you support throughout the essay, which is great for task achievement!
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing you understand different perspectives on transportation.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: