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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2006 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2006 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The map illustrates apply the change in the infrastructure of the
University
Use synonyms
campus
Use synonyms
 between 2006 and the present day. First of all, the
university
Use synonyms
 offices located on the north of the
campus
Use synonyms
 are altered by the science building for the purpose of science activities.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
student
Use synonyms
 accommodation, which is
next
Linking Words
 to the
university
Use synonyms
 offices, is broadened with the
second
Linking Words
 block.
Secondly
Linking Words
, after 16 years, the teaching block is changed into an art building to serve for arts. Simultaneously, the shops and restaurants are modified by
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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student
Use synonyms
accommodation
Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, these figures are incorporated into the
student
Use synonyms
 facilities- shops offices and put to change for the old
student
Use synonyms
 accommodation at the corner in 2006.
Although
Linking Words
 in the past, the lawn & seating area was the place for students to take a break,
this
Linking Words
 factor is eliminated and the
university
Use synonyms
campus
Use synonyms
 just has the lake in the middle.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are many changes in the building of the
campus
Use synonyms
. Most of the old building is rebuilt with modern infrastructures and the scale of these building are broadened with many higher towers.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, in 2016, the lawn and seating area, which is located in the centre of
campus
Use synonyms
, is evicted for other purposes.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, campus, student with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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