IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industries to move regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers
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A certain segment of individuals believes that large companies and industries must move into the rural areas. In my opinion, they must do, because there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a number of advantages than disadvantages. The following paragraphs of
this
 essay will analyze both sides
while
 proving my opinion.
To begin
 with, one of the significant advantages of moving into rural areas is, that these businesses can find required
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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 for a low price. One of the major concerns in a city is the higher price of their land, but in the suburbs, it is not the same, and it is cheap. These businessmen can buy acres of real estate with the same amount of money that they spend in cities to buy a few perches of land.
For example
, a recent article published by the Sunday Observer revealed the cost range of acreage in a remote is twice lower than that in a city.
In addition
 to the lower value of the
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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, these companies can easily find more
than
Change preposition
apply
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labour to solve the labour shortage issue that they face in the cities.
On the other hand
,
however
, there is one disadvantage that I can think of which will happen if they move to suburbs, and
that is
 the higher amount that they need to
bare
Verb problem
bear
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 in transport. During the
last
 few months, fuel fare has grown by leaps and bounds.
For instance
,
last
 week's report of the Central Bank defines it rose from 25% to it during the
last
 month. So,
as a result
 of
this
, it is obvious to have a problem with that.
To conclude
, though the transport cost is too high
due to
 the energy prices, the low price of land and the high demand
in
Change preposition
for
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 labour availability will help these industries to earn more profit if they move into remote areas.
Hence
, I reiterate that large companies must establish their roots in rural fields.
Submitted by sprabasara on

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task response
Fully address the advantages and disadvantages of large companies and industries moving to rural areas. Ensure that all points are clearly related to the prompt and provide comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by clearly structuring the introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the main points are well-supported and logically presented throughout the essay.
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