IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #time #work #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, an increasing number of social problems caused by teenagers can be directly related to their
parents
Use synonyms
 who spend lesser
time
Use synonyms
 with them than at work. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because I believe that there are some main motives involving
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the social problems of young people often result from the absence of their
parents
Use synonyms
. The current economic condition of society pushes both
parents
Use synonyms
 to pursue professional careers to ensure better life prospects and educational facilities for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
parents
Use synonyms
 are left with no
time
Use synonyms
 to guild their kids about ethenic norms. When left alone,
children
Use synonyms
 may spend their
time
Use synonyms
 watching TV or surfing the Internet. They may
also
Linking Words
 make friends outside of their social network.
Such
Linking Words
 friendships can push the
children
Use synonyms
 into wrongdoing. They may develop bad habits
such
Linking Words
 as smoking, drinking, and substance abuse.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of teenage pregnancies increased every year.
This
Linking Words
 social problem comes from a lack of parental supervision.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers these days have their love from an early age. Because the
parents
Use synonyms
 spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 at their workplaces, it results in their
children
Use synonyms
 lacking guidance as well as contraceptive methods.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of working to sustain the needs of their child, they tend to forget the true meaning of care that their
children
Use synonyms
 need from their
parents
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I totally believe that inadequate parental guidance is only one of the reasons for social problems.
Parents
Use synonyms
 must pay more attention to their
children
Use synonyms
 to anticipate the
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour affecting from societies until it is too late.
Submitted by shinyucr3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: