Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some health issues are associated with excessive consumption of products that are rich in sweeteners,

therefore

Linking Words

, need to be restricted with increased prices to diminish consumer demand. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

proposal because

this

Linking Words

policy can be ineffective for loyal consumers and can lead to competitive pressures. Proponents of the idea of putting up prices may argue that

this

Linking Words

leads to reduced consumption of harmful substances

along with

Linking Words

a lower risk of health problems.

This

Linking Words

is predicated on the belief that price-sensitive consumers will hesitate to purchase expensive candies, and

then

Linking Words

consider the options of healthier alternatives. Obesity and diabetes rates,

for instance

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, can be diminished if people are aware of using juice or sugar-free beverages

instead

Linking Words

of carbonated drinks.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reasoning is not sound enough because some research has shown that some brands

such

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as KitKat chocolate or Pepsi still sold their products out despite including tax pay.

In other words

Linking Words

, not all people are sensitive to premium charges and are still loyal to their brands.

Consequently

Linking Words

, I believe that the proposal of rising costs of sugary products is flawed for the aforementioned argument.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, higher costs compared to market price are proven to lower the competitiveness of many factories.

This

Linking Words

is because the food industry is more fierce than ever before, and taxation or any other way that has effects on the buying and selling of goods can make sugar-sweetened foods and drinks producers lose the chance to compete with their rival companies and may lead to decreased sales volume and a stagnant state.

For example

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, when I go to restaurants, I prefer to order orange juice rather than Coca-Cola because it is cheaper and less artificial. In conclusion, I disagree with the idea of increasing the costs of sugary foods and beverages owing to the limited effectiveness of

this

Linking Words

policy, and it

also

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brings more disadvantages for the producers.

banhbao0565Tue Jul 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay provides clear and relevant arguments, but the logical coherence between sentences could be strengthened. Try to use more signposting language to guide the reader through your arguments.

Task Achievement

Consider adding a brief introduction sentence before stating your disagreement. This helps in setting a better context for your stance.

Relevant Specific Examples

Your use of examples such as KitKat chocolate and Coca-Cola effectively illustrates your points, making your argument more compelling.

Logical Structure

You logically structured your essay with a clear separation of ideas in different paragraphs, which enhances readability.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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