IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water as

#people #right #water #governments #control
Nowadays it’s true that many places are still facing a shortage of cleaning
water
, especially in some areas which are originally lack of fresh
water
 and cannot
also
 afford the high price from other countries. But I still do not agree with authorities making strict
policies
 for that and other factors
such
 as behaviour modification are vital to make individuals realize the
water
 shortage in the entire world.
Although
 Government makes strict
policies
 in order to make
water
 source
use
 more effective, indeed, it will pay off in a brief period.
However
,
this
 does not involve a change in the conduct and thought processes of
people
. when the thought process is augmented by an educational approach.
People
 start refusing to wastewater with enthusiasm.
For example
 in India, authorities increase the gasoline price to reduce the air pollution from traffic. But as time went by, the appearance of low-quality petrol harmed the vehicle and the environment.
Hence
,
this
 method is not the best way to solve
this
 problem and it is not sustainable.
Instead
, if the government will totally not make any
policies
 for
water
use
, it will cause many
people
 to
use
water
 casually and much waste will happen. If we
use
 too much fresh
water
, there will be not enough
water
 for our offspring. And overusing will
also
 result in pollution.
Therefore
, it cannot be adopted either. In my point of view, we should greatly promote
water
 conservation and change
people
's mindsets. Even though
policies
 will make an impact on
water
 source problems, they will not be sustainable without attitude therapy and education approaches. At the same time, Proper control of
water
use
 is
also
 the right way to go for long-term development rather than without controlling.
Submitted by 878663872 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Human right
  • Resource scarcity
  • Economic productivity
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Equitable distribution
  • Monopolization
  • Public health
  • Sustainability
  • Government regulation
  • Hygiene
  • Water quality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: