IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have unexpectedly come into a large sum of money and you want to share this good news with your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain where the money came from say what you intend to do with the money invite your friend to celebrate your good fortune.

#sum #money #news #friend #fortune
Dear Nidhi, I hope you are in good health. I am so excited to share
this
 news with you that I got a huge amount of money. A few years ago, I purchased bitcoins
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 1000 bucks as an investment purpose, but
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
I knew that the price of them
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 drop significantly after some days.
However
, today I saw in the news that the stock market has boomed and the price of a bitcoin is now 1000 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what it was originally.
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
show examples
 I could not
believe
Correct pronoun usage
believe it
show examples
, but I checked from different sources, and the news
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 true. Now, when I have
this
 money, I
was
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
 thinking
to spend
Change preposition
of spending
show examples
 some amount to buy a car for my parents and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the money in the bank for future use.
Let us
Correct pronoun usage
Let's
show examples
 meet
this
 Sunday at my home to celebrate, I will cook your favourite food, and we can talk and watch movies just like
old
Change preposition
in old
show examples
 times. Best wishes, Neha
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To make your explanation more complete, you might want to include how much the bitcoins are worth now. This would make the reason for your excitement more tangible to your friend.
coherence cohesion
To improve the structure, consider breaking down the third paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one explaining the verification of the information, and another outlining how you plan to use the money.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is warm and friendly, which is very appropriate for this type of correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The letter follows a logical structure with a clear beginning, body, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!