IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have unexpectedly come into a large sum of money and you want to share this good news with your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain where the money came from say what you intend to do with the money invite your friend to celebrate your good fortune.

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Dear Nidhi, I hope you are in good health. I am so excited to share
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 news with you that I got a huge amount of money. A few years ago, I purchased bitcoins
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 1000 bucks as an investment purpose, but
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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I knew that the price of them
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

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 drop significantly after some days.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, today I saw in the news that the stock market has boomed and the price of a bitcoin is now 1000 times
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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what it was originally.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Initially
Add a comma
Initially,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Initially. Consider adding a comma.

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 I could not
believe
Correct pronoun usage
believe it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, but I checked from different sources, and the news
is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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 true. Now, when I have
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 money, I
was
Wrong verb form
am

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb was. Consider changing it.

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 thinking
to spend
Change preposition
of spending

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 some amount to buy a car for my parents and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb keep. Consider changing it.

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rest
Correct article usage
the rest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of the money in the bank for future use.
Let us
Correct pronoun usage
Let's

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 meet
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 Sunday at my home to celebrate, I will cook your favourite food, and we can talk and watch movies just like
old
Change preposition
in old

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 times. Best wishes, Neha

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task achievement
To make your explanation more complete, you might want to include how much the bitcoins are worth now. This would make the reason for your excitement more tangible to your friend.
coherence cohesion
To improve the structure, consider breaking down the third paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one explaining the verification of the information, and another outlining how you plan to use the money.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is warm and friendly, which is very appropriate for this type of correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The letter follows a logical structure with a clear beginning, body, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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