Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, parents incentivize

children

by telling them that they could reach any dream if their striving is hard enough.

However

, I believe is it a two-sided phenomenon, which is outlined below. It seems common that many parents have the outdated mindset that they would chase anything to respond to their

children

’s requests. To be honest,

this

way solely lets a child be spoilt. As an adult, we absolutely understand life will not always have a completely clear answer to our cravings, even for good or bad purposes.

Besides

that, leaving the young adult to try their best without any responsibilities to tackle the unexpected results might be a contributor to their failure

afterward

Change the spelling

afterwards

show examples

. The state of letting ourselves accomplish the child’s desire will form unfortunate characteristics including arrogance or irresponsibility for our

children

. As for a child brought up without being taught about adaption as well as experiences to deal with a diverse society, a right time compliment will always be a helpful remedy. Precisely, the message of trying hard to reach their targets, which is used in the right circumstance applying to a realistic aim, will be a fierce motivation for any child. It is advisable that give

children

suggestions to improve what they missed and compliments to cherish what they gained. What a motivating message could do is to form an ambitious, good vision and responsible person. Taking everything into consideration, one can see that since life is not the bed of roses, parents whose

children

are typically innocent and easily spoilt must have an ability to understand the right way to bring them up and clearly distinguish which is suitable from which is not.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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