Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Advertisements have been one of the most popular ways to convince
people
to buy different articles. Many companies argue that
this
measurement causes the biggest impact on the population
instead
of using other policies. I partially agree with
this
statement, and in
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To start with, it is well-known that human behaviours have been widely studied, and
then
industries search for specific advertising directed to a special population.
As a consequence
of
this
, a myriad of professionals
such
as psychologists, sociologists, anthropologists, etc, are hired in order to make the best performance in terms of promotion.
This
means that companies focus on persuading
people
with whom they really match their products to rocket their sales.
For example
, in Mexico, research done by a group of sociologists found that most
people
are attracted to video games because of the colours and movements which release multiple neurotransmitters,
thus
since HD graphical experiences have been created,
this
field has experienced a sudden increase in their rates.
Conversely
, it has been proved that human beings can control their own desires
as well as
ignore some details readily.
This
is explained because there is an internal regulation done by the frontal cortex in order to avoid performing the most instinctive actions.
Therefore
, humankind omits promotional campaigns not only by distracting themselves but
also
by considering the consequences that could be generated if they pay attention to those details.
For example
, behavioural treatments against addictions demand that
people
ignore advertisements that stimulate these activities.
To sum up
, advertising is recognized as one of the most common ways for promotional campaigns.
Nevertheless
, many other techniques should be evaluated in order to persuade
people
because there are easy forms to avoid or ignore them.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
The introduction does a good job of setting up the essay's topic and your stance, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay question. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
In your second paragraph, the example provided about sociologists in Mexico is relevant, but it could be more concise. Try to connect it more explicitly to how targeted advertising persuades people to buy products.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, try to make transitions between paragraphs smoother to enhance the overall flow. For example, you can use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'In contrast' to introduce counterarguments more fluidly.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your partial agreement with the statement, which helps to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples, such as the research done by sociologists in Mexico, which strengthens your argument by providing concrete evidence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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